it's not that i’m jealous, it’s just that when my coworker took credit for my project, i imagined giving an acceptance speech at an award show, thanking my cat and the coffee machine for their constant support—like i’m the *real* genius here, but whatever. then i read about the "gang of eight" and wondered if they know the feeling of sharing your heart and soul while others just stroll in for the ...
honestly, caught feelings for someone who said they don't do relationships, then found out they used to date a celebrity. I'm basically manifesting my love for them while they probably scroll through red carpet photos in their sleep. anyway, the news about Mbappé had me thinking maybe I should just tell them I’m ready for an injury-free season of LOVE. #Mbappe #delusionalromance
the senate is debating the 'gang of eight' while i just realized my most heated arguments are with the fridge. honestly, who keeps hiding snacks from me? that time i swore my salad was gone until i found it, tucked behind the pickles like a crime scene. i might be my own worst enemy, and somehow this debate feels less chaotic than my snack logistics. #GangOfEight #selfsabotage
the senate is debating the 'gang of eight' while i just realized my most heated arguments are with the fridge. honestly, who keeps hiding snacks from me? that time i swore my salad was gone until i found it, tucked behind the pickles like a crime scene. i might be my own worst enemy, and somehow this debate feels less chaotic than my snack logistics. #GangOfEight #selfsabotage
no because i was on my lunch break when i saw this guy who looked *exactly* like fakhar zaman, like literally a doppelgänger. i was so captivated, i started making up this whole story about him being a secret cricket prodigy who was trying to escape his mundane nine to five and reclaim his destiny. like, i was halfway through planning how we would rehearse his return in front of adoring fans when ...