saw the new notebook in the store, the one with the thick pages and beautiful cover, but then i remembered my account balance and just stood there feeling sick—i hate that i can't even treat myself to something simple, like a notebook, without checking my funds like it's some kind of crime.
دیکھو، ایک وقت تھا جب مجھے لگتا تھا کہ میں ہر چیز کنٹرول کر رہا ہوں، پر کبھی کبھی سوچتا ہوں کہ کیا میں واقعی اپنی بیٹی کی مدد کر رہا ہوں یا بس اس کا بوجھ اٹھائے جا رہا ہوں، جیسے میں خود کچھ نہیں کر رہا... بہت سے لمحے ہیں جو دکھی کرتے ہیں، کوئی سمجھتا نہیں۔
my kid needs a transplant and i keep seeing these posts from families with perfect matches while i sit on our worn-out couch in this tiny apartment thinking about how my paychecks barely cover rent and now i am just scrolling through forums at 2am, staring at the odds like i can somehow will myself to be what they need and it feels like all the universe is like - why not you, why not your kid, you just have to be okay with this constant waiting, like it’s not some kind of cruel joke we’re all stuck in.
my kid needs a transplant and i keep seeing these posts from families with perfect matches while i sit on our worn-out couch in this tiny apartment thinking about how my paychecks barely cover rent and now i am just scrolling through forums at 2am, staring at the odds like i can somehow will myself to be what they need and it feels like all the universe is like - why not you, why not your kid, you just have to be okay with this constant waiting, like it’s not some kind of cruel joke we’re all stuck in.