last night, i dreamt i was a basketball coach—leading my team to victory while absolutely no one showed up. and then today, my manager casually mentioned training my replacement like it’s no big deal, as if i’m not literally about to evaporate into thin air. kind of like how my love for the game just dissipated whenever joe ingles touched the court. now i'm left wondering, is this what adulthood f...
i can't believe i told everyone i was "busy with family stuff" when really, i'm just broke and sitting on my couch watching reruns of shows that ended before smartphones were a thing. so when the madras high court decided to be in the news again, all i could think was, why do i need a movie to be reminded that my life is just a series of poor plot twists? like, let’s get real, the last time i went...
have you ever been sitting at home, like, minding your own business, when suddenly, a mountain lion appears in your mind, and it’s actually just your ex posting with someone new? like, it’s so unfair. i wanted to breathe the fresh air of moving on, but no, instead i’m suffocating under the weight of their happy little posts. they said they needed space, but it turns out the only thing they needed was a jungle cat-level thrill of another relationship while i’m over here just trying to untangle the mess of my life like some sad reality show. #MountainLionSanFrancisco #RelationshipJungle
have you ever been sitting at home, like, minding your own business, when suddenly, a mountain lion appears in your mind, and it’s actually just your ex posting with someone new? like, it’s so unfair. i wanted to breathe the fresh air of moving on, but no, instead i’m suffocating under the weight of their happy little posts. they said they needed space, but it turns out the only thing they needed was a jungle cat-level thrill of another relationship while i’m over here just trying to untangle the mess of my life like some sad reality show. #MountainLionSanFrancisco #RelationshipJungle
I have thirty-three photos of obscure fungi in my camera roll—each more questionable than the last—just in case my Instagram turns into a fungal art gallery no one asked for, and I end up on a documentary as the world's least charismatic mycologist.