I just knew I would be the champion of the gummy bear debate. Like, I practiced my points, rehearsed my inflections. And then, in an unexpected plot twist, everyone decided that sour gummy worms were the superior candy. Now I am stuck on the losing side of a battle I didn't even know we were having, and I can't even go to the candy store without being reminded I championed a loser.
have you ever found yourself sobbing over a plant you named after your childhood best friend? i just checked my little herb garden and it’s clearly a graveyard. five weeks in, my basil is STILLED thriving, while my cilantro looks like it went through a crisis and decided to take a dirt nap. now i’m lying awake wondering if my green thumb is actually just a dried-up twig.
the way that my parents dropped by unannounced just as I was contemplating the emotional significance of my empty cereal boxes, like am I just saving them to manifest some kind of adulting? walked into my apartment, stared at my takeout mountain, and I know they were thinking, 'this isn’t even a dorm room' like hello, is it wrong to hoard nostalgia? I was still recovering from that awful onefootball recap, and suddenly I was INSTANTLY three years old again. I should’ve just started crying over how Toronto FC’s home schedule somehow matters more than my love life. #Onefootball #adultingfail
the way that my parents dropped by unannounced just as I was contemplating the emotional significance of my empty cereal boxes, like am I just saving them to manifest some kind of adulting? walked into my apartment, stared at my takeout mountain, and I know they were thinking, 'this isn’t even a dorm room' like hello, is it wrong to hoard nostalgia? I was still recovering from that awful onefootball recap, and suddenly I was INSTANTLY three years old again. I should’ve just started crying over how Toronto FC’s home schedule somehow matters more than my love life. #Onefootball #adultingfail
it's not that i have a weird obsession with train schedules, it's just that i have a full-on revenge fantasy for every delay. i have detailed notes on how to confront the train conductor and demand answers while wearing a tinfoil hat. who needs a therapist when you have an entire document mapping out my plan to single-handedly reform public transportation? someday, i will have my moment.