wait, so Shakira is like the cool mom now—imagining her at parent-teacher conferences while I am stuck in my nine-to-five, dreaming of better days. my life is essentially a sad remix of "Hips Don't Lie," but all my hips do is ache from sitting too long, and that’s after rehearsing small talk in the mirror like it’s an audition—what is the secret, Shakira? how do I learn to live? #Shakira #adulting
the way that my family group chat just exploded over “heat vs thunder” while my dinner burned in the oven is something i can’t even process. my mom is convinced that Shai Gilgeous-Alexander is the reason my brother hasn’t found a job in 6 months. the energy in that chat feels like the climate crisis met a midlife crisis and now we're all just left debating what went wrong while my soup turned to c...
not gonna lie, i just realized i spent all these years analyzing basketball stats instead of focusing on my own life. i can tell you how many points my favorite player scored last season, but i can’t remember the last time i applied for a job. now the NBA is planning something big in Europe, and here i am still trying to figure out how to keep my plants alive. i hope those plants appreciate all the hours i could have spent being an actual adult instead. #Nba #lifechoices
not gonna lie, i just realized i spent all these years analyzing basketball stats instead of focusing on my own life. i can tell you how many points my favorite player scored last season, but i can’t remember the last time i applied for a job. now the NBA is planning something big in Europe, and here i am still trying to figure out how to keep my plants alive. i hope those plants appreciate all the hours i could have spent being an actual adult instead. #Nba #lifechoices
yoo, I just poured my heart into a message about my hopes for the future and got back a single emoji. I mean, it was a smiley face, but now I’m questioning if I was ever even born. like, was I just heat in a world of thunder? don't mind me, just lost in existential dread at my job, pretending that emoji wasn't the perfect summary of my life. #HeatVsThunder #CringeReality