its three am and i just calculated that to save for my dream hammock it would take me four hundred and sixty-two weekends of skipping tacos, but here i am binge-eating chips while telling myself “at least it wont fall apart when i finally get it.”
it’s not that i regret my life choices—it's just that every time i look at my spice rack, with its six unopened jars of cardamom, i wonder if i could have been a professional goat yoga instructor in the mountains of Idaho, leading goats through downward dog instead of, you know, planning spreadsheets that look exactly like the last ten spreadsheets. maybe it’s the goats whispering sweet nothings i...
do you ever just look in the mirror and realize you’ve turned into the version of yourself that everyone wants, instead of the one you actually are? i mean, i'm perfecting this fake enthusiasm about amy klobuchar running for governor while secretly dreading another boring election cycle. it’s like my friends throw a party, but the guest of honor is a political candidate nobody asked for. i just laugh and pretend it's exciting when all i really want to do is curl up in my blanket fort and read about conspiracy theories no one will understand. #AmyKlobuchar #RelatableStruggles
do you ever just look in the mirror and realize you’ve turned into the version of yourself that everyone wants, instead of the one you actually are? i mean, i'm perfecting this fake enthusiasm about amy klobuchar running for governor while secretly dreading another boring election cycle. it’s like my friends throw a party, but the guest of honor is a political candidate nobody asked for. i just laugh and pretend it's exciting when all i really want to do is curl up in my blanket fort and read about conspiracy theories no one will understand. #AmyKlobuchar #RelatableStruggles
wait, so i found out the lottery results today and my aunt immediately texted me asking if i bought a ticket because "you know i was just saying how 30 is the new old." as if winning the lottery means i can avoid feeling ancient. last week she showed me her new "senior citizen" discount card, like thanks for the reminder, aunt Karen. guess i'll just adopt ten cats and binge-watch soap operas. #Lot...