last night, i found out that while i was giving someone a SECOND CHANCE, they were busy sliding into another person's DMs like it was a Sunidhi Chauhan concert. my heart is in a mosh pit and the only thing getting dropped is my self-respect. time to triple text myself for some emotional support. #SunidhiChauhan #SelfSabotage
it's not that i plan weddings on a whim. it’s just that i made eye contact with a stranger and suddenly my brain goes full-on rom-com. we shared a two-second glance and now i have a Pinterest board titled "Our Dream Life Together." my future spouse doesn't even know we met. also, they probably think they lost their wallet when in reality, it's my sanity that's gone. #Lost #DelusionalPlanning
not gonna lie, i have rehearsed my ecstatic reaction for when aston villa wins a match, fully visualizing me dramatically crying happy tears in a crowded cafe. then, in the middle of my daydream, i realized i can't even cry when my boss says "good job" at work. now i’m wondering if this is my life, or if my biggest achievement will just be perfecting my fake excitement. #AstonVilla #emotionalrollercoaster
not gonna lie, i have rehearsed my ecstatic reaction for when aston villa wins a match, fully visualizing me dramatically crying happy tears in a crowded cafe. then, in the middle of my daydream, i realized i can't even cry when my boss says "good job" at work. now i’m wondering if this is my life, or if my biggest achievement will just be perfecting my fake excitement. #AstonVilla #emotionalrollercoaster
ok but my mom asked me when i’m having kids again and i just awkwardly glanced at my search history that says "how to woo a guy with plants" and realized my romantic life is more dead than the last fern i overwatered. meanwhile, they are showing “rio ave vs benfica” on the TV and honestly i can relate, because just like my love life, both teams seem to be just running around without a goal. #RioAv...