wait, so everyone is losing their minds over Kylie Jenner smoking in that new Charli XCX video. meanwhile, i'm sitting here having a meltdown over the fact that I can’t even light a candle without burning my house down. can you imagine? here I am, a literal fire hazard, and everyone is out here idolizing people who take unhealthy risks. it's like I’m a character in a sitcom where the punchline is ...
it’s 3am and i’m staring at my credit card bill that arrived the same day uconn men’s basketball played their last game. can’t tell if it’s the heartburn from last week’s “self-care” splurge or just the crushing weight of reality. i was planning a spa day but ended up with a mattress topper that seemed way more essential at two in the morning. so, now my bed feels like heaven and my budget feels l...
day 19 of my quest to learn to juggle, and all I have is a bruised ego and two cantaloupes that won’t stop rolling away. i thought juggling was like riding a bike. you just… pick it up, right? turns out, my backyard looks like a produce aisle exploded, and every time my neighbor walks by, i imagine their pity. oh, but do they know i'm actually preparing for my future career as the world’s most dedicated fruit performer?
day 19 of my quest to learn to juggle, and all I have is a bruised ego and two cantaloupes that won’t stop rolling away. i thought juggling was like riding a bike. you just… pick it up, right? turns out, my backyard looks like a produce aisle exploded, and every time my neighbor walks by, i imagine their pity. oh, but do they know i'm actually preparing for my future career as the world’s most dedicated fruit performer?
wait. i was on a train the other day and saw this guy with an Arkansas basketball jacket, and for some reason, my mind decided he was an ex-dancer who turned to coaching because he wanted to nurture young talent in a town that just lost a high school legend. i swear i created an entire universe for him where he moved to Oklahoma and now desperately tries to recreate that high school magic while ba...