wait, how is it that i just bought a candle that smells like freshly baked cookies but my vacuum cleaner is about to take its last breath? am i actually trying to create a scented bakery in my apartment while avoiding the chaos? what is my life, and why can’t i stop looking for bath bombs shaped like avocados instead of buying a new filter?
wait, just found out that the new hire i trained is literally making more than me. like, i put in all that effort, and here i am, triple texting my boss about raises while pretending my phone is hacked. i can’t even enjoy a basketball game without the Knicks and Warriors reminding me how outplayed i am in my own life. talk about a layup gone wrong. #WarriorsVsKnicks #awkwardmood
yooo, just found out my friend group picked sides and I ended up with the "who invited them" team. like, I was literally planning my All-Star Weekend outfits to celebrate the vibes but now I'm in my closet questioning every decision. I’m seriously imagining Ajay Mitchell coming to my rescue, like he’ll see my sad corner and be like "you don’t belong here." I might have to unfollow everyone and pretend I moved to an entirely different planet. #AjayMitchell #DramaAlert
yooo, just found out my friend group picked sides and I ended up with the "who invited them" team. like, I was literally planning my All-Star Weekend outfits to celebrate the vibes but now I'm in my closet questioning every decision. I’m seriously imagining Ajay Mitchell coming to my rescue, like he’ll see my sad corner and be like "you don’t belong here." I might have to unfollow everyone and pretend I moved to an entirely different planet. #AjayMitchell #DramaAlert
it’s three am and i’m reflecting on my choices. like, why did i think prioritizing binge-watching a dance reality show over my actual responsibilities was a good idea? literally, i’m now 27, living like a hobbit, and my only understanding of strategy comes from watching mark ballas plotting his moves. he had a whole playbook while i was just trying to learn the cha-cha in my living room. now i'm s...