the way that i always promised i would never become the person who collects decorative spoons. yet here i am, standing in the kitchen, polishing my little “souvenirs” from places i’ve never been, making sure my “beach in a spoon” from some weird shop isn’t covered in dust. honestly, i’m half-convinced they’re just there to distract from the fact that i only leave my apartment for groceries and mor...
just realized my spotify wrapped is basically a giant neon sign saying “please love me” to my family. they call my cousin the ‘future CEO’ and I can’t even get through a Netflix series without second guessing my entire existence. it’s all smiley faces at family gatherings until they ask why I haven’t ‘figured it out’ like everyone else. i know they mean well, but half the time i’m ready to just di...
it’s 2am and I’m sitting on my floor, scrolling through recipes I’ll never make. then, I send a text about how my favorite snack—a microwavable potato skin—suddenly feels like a betrayal. I hit send—PRIDE in each finger tap—only to realize I texted the actual potato skin supplier instead of my friend. now they think I’m crazy AND losing it over overpriced appetizers. guess who will be blocking that number… at least until I can explain my “artistic vision” about snacking.
it’s 2am and I’m sitting on my floor, scrolling through recipes I’ll never make. then, I send a text about how my favorite snack—a microwavable potato skin—suddenly feels like a betrayal. I hit send—PRIDE in each finger tap—only to realize I texted the actual potato skin supplier instead of my friend. now they think I’m crazy AND losing it over overpriced appetizers. guess who will be blocking that number… at least until I can explain my “artistic vision” about snacking.
the way that i’m somehow more embarrassed about breathing in public than i am about literally tripping over my own feet in front of my crush. like, i will apologize for the air i take up before i'll stand tall and own my existence. last week, i sneezed and immediately said, “sorry!” to nobody. who am i apologizing to? i don’t know. guess my next life goal is just to not shrink into the nearest bus...