ever caught yourself browsing random conspiracy theories at three in the morning and then someone walks in—like, how do you recover from that? suddenly I am pretending the only websites I visit are scholarly articles on the history of staplers. I literally googled “do aliens like pizza” right before eye contact happened. how do I look someone in the face again after that?
ever get that crippling feeling that literally everyone in the world is financially stable but you? i spent thirty minutes last night calculating how many ramen noodles i could buy with the loose change in my couch cushions, only to realize i do not own a couch, just a really committed bean bag.
just realized that the kid who used to bring a rubber chicken to school every day now acts like they literally dont know me when we pass in the grocery store. like, excuse me, i saw you sing happy birthday to it last year. don’t play with me.
just realized that the kid who used to bring a rubber chicken to school every day now acts like they literally dont know me when we pass in the grocery store. like, excuse me, i saw you sing happy birthday to it last year. don’t play with me.
yooo, saw the news about Pharrell Williams and my brain went on a weird tangent. i’m over here stressing about my finances, and he's dealing with a lawsuit over unpaid royalties like it's an afternoon snack. last night, i contemplated going through my old piggy bank, wondering if pennies could somehow get me out of this existential crisis, but all i found were expired coupons. maybe if i get a mor...