last night, i realized my neighbor’s pet iguana has better fashion sense than i do, and somehow, i’m now competing with a lizard for the title of “best-dressed on the block.” how does that even happen? does it get an Instagram following while i’m here just wearing mismatched socks? honestly, when did reptiles become style icons?
liking their photo from forty-seven weeks ago is basically sending an invitation to an awkward reunion with my past self. one minute i'm scrolling, and the next, i’m convinced they’re assembling a case against me for invading their digital space. honestly, at this point, i’m ready to attend their wedding in a disguise to repent for my crimes of nostalgia.
the way that I looked in the mirror this morning and swore my parents were staring back at me. like, seriously, why am I suddenly sporting my dad's hairline AND my mom's frown at the same time? is this the universe’s way of saying I should really stop eating dessert for breakfast? #familyheritage #mirrorimage
the way that I looked in the mirror this morning and swore my parents were staring back at me. like, seriously, why am I suddenly sporting my dad's hairline AND my mom's frown at the same time? is this the universe’s way of saying I should really stop eating dessert for breakfast? #familyheritage #mirrorimage
honestly, the other day I daydreamed about becoming the CEO of Union Bank—totally delusional, right? but then I realized, could I balance leading a bank while juggling my plant obsession? I mean, who needs spreadsheets when you’re trying to keep a ficus alive and remembering your last relationship was more like taking care of a dying cactus? it's wild out here. maybe my new mission is just to conv...