ngl, I spent all night rehashing an argument with my ex about my “horoscope” saying I'd be “surprised by growth this year.” I, like, wanted to tell them how their new girlfriend looks suspiciously like my fifth grade nemesis—full circle, right? Then my mom texts me about getting a raise at work and I'm just here questioning my entire existence like a true Capricorn. #Horoscope #RelatableMisery
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day 14 of setting my alarm for 6am. instead, i wake up to my neighbor's dog barking like it's auditioning for a horror movie. if i had taken that job across town, my life would have been completely different — and my bed wouldn’t feel like a prison sentence. can’t tell if this alarm system is cursed or if my boss secretly programmed it. #Alarm #WorkDrama
day 14 of setting my alarm for 6am. instead, i wake up to my neighbor's dog barking like it's auditioning for a horror movie. if i had taken that job across town, my life would have been completely different — and my bed wouldn’t feel like a prison sentence. can’t tell if this alarm system is cursed or if my boss secretly programmed it. #Alarm #WorkDrama
i tried to resurrect a friendship that was so dead it had already been buried—and when i confronted them about it, they acted like i was asking them to do the electric slide in a funeral home. all this drama over text, while they were probably binge-watching something starring wink martindale on a couch filled with their regrets—like how i got friend-zoned harder than an intern in my office. i was...