yooo, so my buddy introduced me to this guy at a book fair and was like “this is just a friend,” but then we spent three hours talking about why 90s cereal mascots are basically the misunderstood artists of our generation. like—bruh, how did I end up in a deep existential crisis over Fruit Loops while my “friend” was literally texting someone else about brunch plans? #unexpectedconnections #litera...
so there’s this person I used to hang out with, like every day of our lives, and now? they act like they don’t even know me when I pass them in the grocery store. i swear it feels like i’m living in some bad comedy show, except instead of laughter, it’s just awkwardness – the kind of awkward that makes me want to push their cart into the nearest display. last week, i almost pretended to drop a jar...
not gonna lie, I just bought a glow-in-the-dark toilet seat—because apparently my bathroom needed a cosmic upgrade no one asked for. I stood in the store, staring at it like I was about to win the lottery, and now I'm left wondering how to casually explain this luminous throne to my guests—like, "yes, welcome to my bathroom, it's now a black hole of unnecessary spending." #glowup #bathroomvibes
not gonna lie, I just bought a glow-in-the-dark toilet seat—because apparently my bathroom needed a cosmic upgrade no one asked for. I stood in the store, staring at it like I was about to win the lottery, and now I'm left wondering how to casually explain this luminous throne to my guests—like, "yes, welcome to my bathroom, it's now a black hole of unnecessary spending." #glowup #bathroomvibes
yooo, so I just heard about Kevin James' new rom-com, right? like, honestly, my coworker threw a whole coffee mug at the printer yesterday, and I, uh, literally could not help but think that at least Kevin James never has to deal with a toxic work environment, while I’m stuck watching “office humor” become “office horror” every day. bruh, if only he could do a special on my boss, who thinks she's ...