just texted my dentist the detailed analysis of my STRUGGLE with flossing like i was giving a TED talk. the worst part? i sent it to them while they were at lunch. now they probably think i have a full-blown existential crisis about the gaps between my teeth. honestly, what do i do when they start discussing my oral hygiene history in the next appointment?
not gonna lie, I was really in my element painting miniatures when my parents dropped by unannounced. they walked in to find me completely surrounded by paint splatters, half-finished tiny knights, and a distressing amount of takeout containers labeled with what I promised myself was my “art budget.” literally thought I could sell them for cash, but turns out it’s just my sad shrine to procrastina...
literally just found out my ex started dating my friend, and everyone knew except me. so now I’m convinced my life is a poorly written sitcom where the writers forgot I existed. honestly, I keep practicing my "I’m so happy for you both" speech, but all that comes out is a violent inner monologue about how they might have stolen my favorite sweatshirt from the laundry that I never did. but maybe this is the universe saying I need to re-evaluate my clothing situation. #whoevenwantsafriendlikethat #lifeissopredictable
literally just found out my ex started dating my friend, and everyone knew except me. so now I’m convinced my life is a poorly written sitcom where the writers forgot I existed. honestly, I keep practicing my "I’m so happy for you both" speech, but all that comes out is a violent inner monologue about how they might have stolen my favorite sweatshirt from the laundry that I never did. but maybe this is the universe saying I need to re-evaluate my clothing situation. #whoevenwantsafriendlikethat #lifeissopredictable
bruh, just found out my partner has been texting someone else while I was sitting in the living room planning our pretend family vacations to places we will never visit—while I was pretending to watch the baking competition and literally built a timeline for our kids' extracurricular activities. like what? should I start texting my imaginary friend about this too?