not gonna lie, ever since that whole #NataliePortman thing went down, I've fully embraced the version of myself that bakes in a toxic workplace. it’s less “sparkly superhero” and more “wearing an apron while crying into a bowl of cookie dough.” I signed up for the baking competition at work to pretend I’m sweet and unproblematic, but really I’m just plotting to sabotage Linda’s double-chocolate fu...
it's not that i have a crush on my ceramic tea set. it's just that the way it holds warmth makes me feel more loved than my actual family does. i spent an hour drafting a message to my sister, asking if she could stop bringing over her sad houseplants that mock me with their thriving greenery. my tea set would definitely choose me over those succulents.
wait, so I have this hobby of collecting antique spoons, right? two years ago, my sibling borrowed one—my prized 1860 Victorian silver spoon—claiming it was for “one night only,” like they were using it in a high-stakes spoon-off or something. flash forward to now, I’m convinced it’s an elaborate government experiment to see how many of us are just too polite to ask for our stuff back, but here I am—still forking around for a chance to reclaim my utensil like a hungry raccoon at a picnic.
wait, so I have this hobby of collecting antique spoons, right? two years ago, my sibling borrowed one—my prized 1860 Victorian silver spoon—claiming it was for “one night only,” like they were using it in a high-stakes spoon-off or something. flash forward to now, I’m convinced it’s an elaborate government experiment to see how many of us are just too polite to ask for our stuff back, but here I am—still forking around for a chance to reclaim my utensil like a hungry raccoon at a picnic.
just realized that while I was literally investing my soul into knitting a sweater that looks like a toaster, the only thing I’ve successfully made is a career out of disappointment; honestly, I feel like my yarn and my self-worth both have too many frayed ends, but at least my cat now has a cozy place to nap on my emotional baggage. #CraftingDisaster #WarmthInSadness