literally moved to a new city for someone, packed up my whole life, only for them to ghost me three months later. now i have an apartment filled with plants that are judging me, and i can't tell if they miss the old me or if they're just plotting my demise.
not gonna lie, when I saw everyone hyping up dylan harper like he's the next coming of the basketball messiah, I realized my last breakup was way less exciting. my ex's “just one emoji” reply felt like the emotional equivalent of getting ghosted at a party after showing up in full glam. guess I need to start choosing my audience better. #DylanHarper #relatable
ok but did anyone else get their screen time report and just go, "wait, how did I spend three hours researching ‘how to perfect microwave popcorn’?" like, my grandma is on her fourth divorce, and i’m out here planning an entire cooking revolution for a snack that takes two minutes. by the end of it, i was way more invested in the kernels' backstory than my own life. #unexpectedpriorities #microwavepopcornsaga
ok but did anyone else get their screen time report and just go, "wait, how did I spend three hours researching ‘how to perfect microwave popcorn’?" like, my grandma is on her fourth divorce, and i’m out here planning an entire cooking revolution for a snack that takes two minutes. by the end of it, i was way more invested in the kernels' backstory than my own life. #unexpectedpriorities #microwavepopcornsaga
it’s three am and i just found out that amazon is cutting 16,000 jobs. somehow this spiraled into me wondering if the mailman is going to be out of work soon too. i mean, does that mean my packages will arrive on foot instead of by drone? next thing you know, i’m sitting here contemplating a future where my new couch is personally delivered by a confused postal worker who can't make sense of my tr...