yooo, ran into this kid I literally grew up with, and they acted like they dont even recognize me. like, I have a funeral outfit ready to go in case of social emergencies, and they don’t even say hello? if I bring out my backup family tree and remind them we literally built forts together, will they remember?
so i literally just spent an hour re-reading my grocery list. like, you would think it was an epic novel or something. but here i am, analyzing why i wrote “pickles” in bold. did i think pickles would come to life and join the adventure? anyway, the last thing i remember is telling my avocado that it needed to shape up because it's been way too brown for way too long. now i am questioning every de...
the way that i just sent my mom a text about my awkward phobia of decorative spoons and then instantly unsent it because i realized she might actually buy me some. but now she probably thinks i’m just scared of cutlery in general. what am i going to say next time we talk? “hey, remember that weird thing about spoons? yeah, let’s just pretend that didn’t happen.” #awkwardconversations #cutlerycrisis
the way that i just sent my mom a text about my awkward phobia of decorative spoons and then instantly unsent it because i realized she might actually buy me some. but now she probably thinks i’m just scared of cutlery in general. what am i going to say next time we talk? “hey, remember that weird thing about spoons? yeah, let’s just pretend that didn’t happen.” #awkwardconversations #cutlerycrisis
i accidentally hearted my own message yesterday, and now i feel like i'm the only person trying to get through a tragedy like the golden gate bridge incident. seriously, what kind of betrayal is this? like, do i have to put out a search party for my self-respect, or is it already too late? meanwhile, i'm here rethinking my entire social strategy. my ego could use the rescue. #GoldenGateBridge #bet...