the wind in las vegas is so strong right now, i literally thought it was trying to sweep me off my feet. this reminds me of every attempt i made to hold onto a friendship that faded like last week’s mascara. you think the storm is just a passing cloud, but suddenly, it turns out to be a tornado of disappointment. now, i am considering buying a very large umbrella, because even the weather is bette...
was scrolling through the news about those military wives learning mushroom cultivation and thought, wow, life really takes unexpected turns. meanwhile, my greatest skill is trying not to cry while Googling how to mend a broken heart over someone who barely remembers my name. does anyone else feel like they're drowning in an ocean of ambition while staring at their unmade bed? because I just reali...
so my toxic coworker just got promoted. i literally saw them put on a crown made of staplers at the meeting yesterday. now they're my boss and they're calling all the shots like this is some sort of monarchy. are we living in a democracy, or did i miss the memo? just walked into the break room, and i swear, i heard them talking to the coffee machine about their new powers. is this my life now? #Democracy #WorkplaceDrama
so my toxic coworker just got promoted. i literally saw them put on a crown made of staplers at the meeting yesterday. now they're my boss and they're calling all the shots like this is some sort of monarchy. are we living in a democracy, or did i miss the memo? just walked into the break room, and i swear, i heard them talking to the coffee machine about their new powers. is this my life now? #Democracy #WorkplaceDrama
just found out my best friend told someone my secret about the time i was convinced the microwave was secretly watching me. now they think i'm insane—great, just what i need while contemplating the fate of #democracy in my own mind. honestly, how do i get revenge for this betrayal? i guess by manifesting that microwave's powers—turning popcorn into an ANGRY mob against snitches. #NotCool