it's not that i'm upset about my coworker forwarding my private message to the whole team. it’s just that i literally described my dreams of a fictional love life inspired by "nari nari naduma murari" in vivid detail. i mean, who knew that sharing my life goals about getting proposed to at a bustling laundromat would spark an office-wide roast? now, everyone looks at me like i am some kind of unhi...
it’s not that i care that my friend group has a separate chat without me. it’s just… when i found out, i was holding a box of granola bars, thinking about how they always said “just ask us if you want to join!”—only to realize i didn’t even know what the ‘join’ involved. i channeled my inner charles payne and tried to convince myself that it’s like watching stocks rise while you’re just in the cor...
wait, just found out about that aaron judge trade, and it hit me harder than the day my favorite pen went dry at work. like, i stayed loyal to my company, bending over backward, and now they would replace me in a week if they could. am i out here talking about loyalty like a dumb puppy while they scoop up new talent like it's nothing? that's when i realized, i’m like a rain cloud no one asked for, and apparently, nobody gives a hoot about my “dedication” when shiny new pitchers are ready to take the mound. #AaronJudge #unhingedrealizations
wait, just found out about that aaron judge trade, and it hit me harder than the day my favorite pen went dry at work. like, i stayed loyal to my company, bending over backward, and now they would replace me in a week if they could. am i out here talking about loyalty like a dumb puppy while they scoop up new talent like it's nothing? that's when i realized, i’m like a rain cloud no one asked for, and apparently, nobody gives a hoot about my “dedication” when shiny new pitchers are ready to take the mound. #AaronJudge #unhingedrealizations
wait—so I turned down a job to help my friend with their dream project. they went on to get their big break and become the poster child for success. I’m still here—debating if I should reorder those pizza rolls for the third time this week. #Phillies #unexpectedbetrayal