so you told her my deepest secret. the one about how i still sleep with a stuffed potato. funny how it made it into casual dinner conversation, right? now everyone knows my potato is named Sir Mashington. congratulations on ruining my life one veggie at a time. #trustissues #potatodrama
i just double texted my ex about the college football playoffs. like, who does that? then i triple texted to clarify my feelings on miami vs indiana, and suddenly i found myself drafting a whole dramatic apology about how i should've been there to support him through his losses. then, out of sheer panic, i seriously considered faking my own death. picture this: no one knows i exist anymore, but it...
have you ever spent months deciding on whether to finally rearrange your sock drawer? i put it off so long, now it’s officially a sock MUSEUM—archaeologists might unearth it and wonder what life was like in the two thousand twenty-three era, and i’ll be the subject of a documentary. turns out—when you wait too long—the socks form alliances, and now i need to negotiate a peace treaty before the colors start a rebellion.
have you ever spent months deciding on whether to finally rearrange your sock drawer? i put it off so long, now it’s officially a sock MUSEUM—archaeologists might unearth it and wonder what life was like in the two thousand twenty-three era, and i’ll be the subject of a documentary. turns out—when you wait too long—the socks form alliances, and now i need to negotiate a peace treaty before the colors start a rebellion.
not gonna lie, i just texted my hot take about a two thousand year old piece of literature to someone who probably thinks i’m literally going to get cancelled by the ghosts of philosophers. now i'm sitting here staring at the three dots like i'm on the last level of a video game, praying i don't accidentally start a literary feud. #philosophyproblems #cancelledbyancients