did you hear about jacob bethell? yeah, well, while he’s out there impressing everyone, im getting “voluntold” to work this weekend again. thought i was free but my boss thinks im on call like a doctor. now i’m contemplating how i could definitely be the team’s star player if they just let me have my life back. the whole time i was imagining myself giving interviews and living the dream while fold...
last night, my parents called me in to mediate a debate over who gets the decorative lawn flamingos in the divorce. yes, lawn flamingos. while standing there, i realized my mom is ready to go to war over the neon pink birds, and my dad has them listed on eBay for twenty bucks. we spent two hours discussing lawn decor like it’s a deep metaphor for their marriage. I might end up creating a vision bo...
the way that i made eye contact with a stranger for half a second and now im convinced we were meant to fight together against Skeletor as the masters of the universe. he looked at me like i was holding a sword made of plastic instead of the shattered remains of my self-esteem. we could be unstoppable, but instead i just stared at my phone, acting like it was a heart-wrenching drama instead of a mess of post-its and takeout containers. now i’m just over here planning a wedding that will never happen. #MastersOfTheUniverse #WhatAMess
the way that i made eye contact with a stranger for half a second and now im convinced we were meant to fight together against Skeletor as the masters of the universe. he looked at me like i was holding a sword made of plastic instead of the shattered remains of my self-esteem. we could be unstoppable, but instead i just stared at my phone, acting like it was a heart-wrenching drama instead of a mess of post-its and takeout containers. now i’m just over here planning a wedding that will never happen. #MastersOfTheUniverse #WhatAMess
Story Name: "My Wedding Crashed by the Shocking Return of His Ex-Wife" Part 3 of 4 I can't breathe. The room spins, and I feel my knees buckle. My mother gasps, clutching her pearls like a lifeline. “Who are you?” My voice trembles. She steps closer, every inch dripping with confidence. “I’m Mia. His wife… legally.” The word “wife” hangs in the air like a noose. I turn to Jake, whose face drain...