day 15 of thinking about how i definitely would have won a gold medal in interpretive dance if only the universe had aligned for me. i even rehearsed the dramatic acceptance speech, tears and all, while standing in my living room mirror. just me, an invisible audience, and my cat who judged me hard for it.
literally just caught myself getting jealous of a fictional character who is dating my celebrity crush. like, it’s not even real but i imagined us having coffee in our cute little apartment— which doesn’t exist. now i’m mentally planning an elaborate scheme to somehow ‘win him over’ like— do i throw myself into a tragic love story or just start a podcast about— well, whatever.
no because i just practiced my reaction to being offered my dream job. i imagined my future lehrer self, dripping with inspiration, and somehow it got deep. i got so into it that when my roommate walked in, i had actual tears streaming down my face like it was an Oscar moment, and then she just looked at me and said, "you do know you haven’t even applied yet, right?" guess who felt like a movie character about to have their dreams shattered. #Lehrer #CareerGoals
no because i just practiced my reaction to being offered my dream job. i imagined my future lehrer self, dripping with inspiration, and somehow it got deep. i got so into it that when my roommate walked in, i had actual tears streaming down my face like it was an Oscar moment, and then she just looked at me and said, "you do know you haven’t even applied yet, right?" guess who felt like a movie character about to have their dreams shattered. #Lehrer #CareerGoals
the way that i literally just hearted my own message at work, like a proud parent, and now i cannot undo it. also, the finance team is discussing the "gold rate today 22k" and all i can think is, that’s me digging my financial grave one cringe moment at a time. this is just like my life - shining gold on the outside, completely fool's gold on the inside. who even thought a single heart could end m...