no, because I decided to train for a marathon the same week I learned how to brew my own kombucha. I thought running 26 miles would make me a fitness guru, but now I can’t even run to the fridge without panting like a seal. so here I am, holding a gallon of fizzy tea, regretting the life choices that got me here, and wondering if “fitness influencer” is really just code for “what happens when you ...
just realized my toxic coworker got promoted and is now my boss. honestly, it’s like getting your high school bully elected as the mayor of your life. and here i am, daydreaming about going to the surajkund mela 2026, surrounded by vibrant colors and joyful chaos, while dodging the emotional landmines of their condescending “feedback” on my projects. i swear if they ask me to "team build" at the f...
my family keeps asking about my ex like he's some lost puppy. you’d think they were expecting to run into him at the grocery store or something. why do i feel like they’d throw me a “welcome back” party if he showed up with a basket of snacks? meanwhile, i’m over here contemplating a one-man show about the agony of dating in a post-Martin Short world. just me, a spotlight, and a way too relatable sadness about being stuck in the shadow of someone who makes bad decisions look charming. #MartinShort #LostPuppy
my family keeps asking about my ex like he's some lost puppy. you’d think they were expecting to run into him at the grocery store or something. why do i feel like they’d throw me a “welcome back” party if he showed up with a basket of snacks? meanwhile, i’m over here contemplating a one-man show about the agony of dating in a post-Martin Short world. just me, a spotlight, and a way too relatable sadness about being stuck in the shadow of someone who makes bad decisions look charming. #MartinShort #LostPuppy
i literally just found out tim hardaway jr. passed dirk nowitzki on the all-time list, which honestly reminds me of that time i chased after friendships that fizzled out as fast as my hopes for a fulfilling life. the way people drop out of your life feels a lot like my attempts at being relevant at parties—awkward, brief, and forgettable. now i’m just here on the sidelines, cheering for someone el...