i just said "thank you" when my local magician said he loved my scarf collection—like he wasn't completely ignoring my existence to practice sleight of hand for his next trick. now i can't even go back there without panicking at the thought that he’s going to make a card disappear and my dignity disappear along with it.
yooo, just found out the one coworker i literally defended to everyone has been saying my lunch smells weird behind my back. like, did they really need to discuss my leftover curry as if it was breaking news? honestly, at least bbc settled their drama. i’d love to settle my lunch preferences with them too. #Bbc #workdrama
it's not that i can't afford what i need — it’s just that the temptation to buy the fifth pair of neon socks in a week is SO STRONG that i now own a sock collection that deserves its own Instagram account. meanwhile, i'm scrolling through a 32-year-old article about antony raju thinking, "should i get my life together or just buy another pair?" the struggle is real, and so are my choices. #AntonyRaju #whatareyoudoingwithyourlife
it's not that i can't afford what i need — it’s just that the temptation to buy the fifth pair of neon socks in a week is SO STRONG that i now own a sock collection that deserves its own Instagram account. meanwhile, i'm scrolling through a 32-year-old article about antony raju thinking, "should i get my life together or just buy another pair?" the struggle is real, and so are my choices. #AntonyRaju #whatareyoudoingwithyourlife
my friend just spilled my deep dark secret to a group of strangers in the middle of a crowded park. it was about how i still sleep with a stuffed animal from childhood. nobody said anything, just kept munching on their artisanal hot dogs, like, okay, guess the real crime is my life choices. i should probably find a therapist… but, like, where do i even start. #BreakingNews #CrisisMode