ngl, I thought my friend was the most chill person ever for sticking up for me at game night, right? turns out while I was telling everyone how great they were, they were texting a mutual friend about how I can't even make a PB&J properly. apparently, my cooking skills are the butt of a new inside joke... meanwhile, I still haven’t found out if my lasagna tasted bad or if it was just the smell of ...
ever had that moment where you turn down a creative project because it feels like too much work, and then watch your least favorite coworker take it and crush it?? yeah, that’s me. now they're getting “creative genius” awards for a sock puppet presentation—like who does that?! meanwhile, i can’t even get my stapler to work properly—wouldn’t it be just great if they knew i wrote the whole script, j...
it's not that i didn’t feel the same way, it’s just that the text message for my laser hair removal appointment popped up right when he said 'i love you' and like, suddenly my whole future was about pain and regret instead of romance. so i panicked and said 'thank you,' but now he's convinced i was touched by the heartfelt gesture instead of, you know, the very real threat of getting my leg hair zapped away.
it's not that i didn’t feel the same way, it’s just that the text message for my laser hair removal appointment popped up right when he said 'i love you' and like, suddenly my whole future was about pain and regret instead of romance. so i panicked and said 'thank you,' but now he's convinced i was touched by the heartfelt gesture instead of, you know, the very real threat of getting my leg hair zapped away.
the way that my sibling casually brings up their promotion while we’re supposed to be discussing the storm warning makes me question all my life choices... like, was moving back home to save money worth being the family footnote? so there I am, dodging wind gusts and contemplating whether I’ll just become a storm chaser instead of dealing with my “what are you going to do with your life” mom while...