it's not that i'm sad about them leaving, it’s just that i literally moved to a city that has a statue of a chicken to honor an egg race. like, i took a selfie with that chicken statue thinking they’d be my forever. ngl, now it just feels like i'm trapped in a bizarre tourism brochure for heartbreak. #chickensculptureofdoom #whydididoit
wait, but does anyone else just... intensely love their collection of random paperclips like it’s a long-lost family? i mean, they all have different vibes: the neon ones give off a party energy, the vintage brass ones make me feel like a fancy librarian, and don’t even get me started on the giant one that literally has no purpose. like, how did i end up attaching emotional significance to office ...
day 38 of obsessively refreshing my feed for indiana qb updates. meanwhile, i just watched my last three relationships fumble harder than a college kid on a Saturday night. honestly, i’m starting to think all my love interests were really just using me as a back-up option. anyway, off to check if i should follow some new players because CLEARLY my type needs an upgrade. #IndianaQb #relatable
day 38 of obsessively refreshing my feed for indiana qb updates. meanwhile, i just watched my last three relationships fumble harder than a college kid on a Saturday night. honestly, i’m starting to think all my love interests were really just using me as a back-up option. anyway, off to check if i should follow some new players because CLEARLY my type needs an upgrade. #IndianaQb #relatable
so i checked their phone while they were asleep, right? and now I know about a whole group chat where they send memes about rockets vs. nets and also plan to retire in a van and visit space or something?? it’s all fun and games until you realize your future partner is also a SPACE NERD. do i need to start studying astrophysics or just pretend i’m on board with it? cause i can't even figure out how...