yooo, so they said we’re getting free parks for MLK Day, and here I am staring at my bank account like “thank you for the generosity, but does it apply to my sanity?” I checked after a weekend of impulse decisions I can’t even justify, and I’m pretty sure my bank balance now represents my last three therapy sessions combined. can I spend a day outside without actually seeing any of my bills? or is...
have you ever noticed how your 'best friend' only reaches out when they need you to smuggle snacks into their favorite arcade? like, do they think the game machines are really gonna pay for their dino-shaped chicken nuggets? it's so obvious, and here i am considering if this makes me the mastermind behind a covert food operation or just a really bad human being.
i spent the last five years studying the lives of a reality TV family, believing they were my life coaches. they don't know i exist, and now i'm behind on real adult stuff like taxes. while i was analyzing their kitchen remodels, my own dishes started to form a biohazard zone. if anyone needs a co-host for a new show about catching up on life, let me know. #parasocialdreams #lifelessonsfromstrangers
i spent the last five years studying the lives of a reality TV family, believing they were my life coaches. they don't know i exist, and now i'm behind on real adult stuff like taxes. while i was analyzing their kitchen remodels, my own dishes started to form a biohazard zone. if anyone needs a co-host for a new show about catching up on life, let me know. #parasocialdreams #lifelessonsfromstrangers
have you ever had your parents show up unannounced and just LITERALLY get a front-row seat to your chaotic life? my living room was filled with half-finished origami projects, a suspiciously unidentifiable smell coming from the fridge, and honestly, the laundry situation was so intense i felt like a contestant on a survival show. their horrified faces when they asked if my "housemate" was the pile...