So there I am, sitting on a train, surrounded by people staring at their phones like they’re in a cult meeting. Suddenly, the guy next to me sneezes without covering his mouth, and I immediately dive for my hand sanitizer like it’s the last life raft on the Titanic. I mean, is it too much to ask us to behave like civilized humans when we're squished together like sardines? Or is this just the univ...
I’ve realized something deeply unsettling about myself: I’m fully convinced I could survive a zombie apocalypse, but I can’t even make a decent bowl of pasta. Like, I can dodge a virtual bullet in Call of Duty, but in real life, boiling water feels like a high-stakes game. My kitchen is basically a horror movie waiting to happen—last time I tried to cook, the smoke alarm became my biggest fan. I s...
You ever think about how we spend our whole lives chasing happiness? Like, one minute you're a kid wishing to grow up, and the next, you're stuck in a job you hate, counting down the days to the weekend. And then there are those motivational quotes everywhere telling us "happiness is a journey, not a destination," while I’m just over here like, “Can someone please give me the GPS coordinates for this journey?” The only journey I’m on is trying to find the remote in a sea of snacks on my couch.
You ever think about how we spend our whole lives chasing happiness? Like, one minute you're a kid wishing to grow up, and the next, you're stuck in a job you hate, counting down the days to the weekend. And then there are those motivational quotes everywhere telling us "happiness is a journey, not a destination," while I’m just over here like, “Can someone please give me the GPS coordinates for this journey?” The only journey I’m on is trying to find the remote in a sea of snacks on my couch.
Ever notice how "advice" is just someone else's opinion dressed up in a fancy outfit? Like, I’m over here saying I want to be a millionaire and my uncle’s like, “Just save more.” Thanks, Uncle Raju, but spoiler alert: my 10% savings plan isn't funding my yacht dreams anytime soon. Maybe I should just start taking advice from my cat—at least he's got the whole napping and snacking thing down to an ...