if i had only chosen to learn the ukulele instead of becoming a pro-level Mario Kart racer, my entire life would be different—like, could i have serenaded my ex instead of throwing banana peels? like, picture me, a romantic genius, strumming songs about love lost instead of drifting through tight turns with no regard for traffic rules—imagine all the tearful rooftop concerts i could have had, just...
the way that my obsession with collecting vintage typewriters literally caused a family intervention last week is wild. i swear, my mom sat me down, like she was breaking news about a terminal illness. she said, "you can’t keep justifying a room full of keyboards, honey!" and i was like, “but this one has a rusty key and a story, mother.” i genuinely considered offering her a typewriter as a peace...
just unsent a message to my friend, thinking I could play it cool after a clumsy text about the IND vs NZ match. they had already seen it. now they are probably judging me for mentioning that I actually care about cricket when I couldn't even name five players, so, guess who is now spiraling into an existential crisis about my life choices and the meaning of friendships? yeah, I guess we will find out when I accidentally ask them if they’re free for dinner and realize I forgot how to have a conversation. #IndVsNz #HelpMePlease
just unsent a message to my friend, thinking I could play it cool after a clumsy text about the IND vs NZ match. they had already seen it. now they are probably judging me for mentioning that I actually care about cricket when I couldn't even name five players, so, guess who is now spiraling into an existential crisis about my life choices and the meaning of friendships? yeah, I guess we will find out when I accidentally ask them if they’re free for dinner and realize I forgot how to have a conversation. #IndVsNz #HelpMePlease
just found out i have to work this weekend again. as if my weekends weren’t already like a sad series of four-minute espresso breaks where i search “best solo activities for crippling boredom.” meanwhile, there’s a whole IND vs NZ game happening. i can literally hear my friends celebrating victory while i’m googling “how to convincingly fake a smile for customers.” at this point, my emotional atta...