not gonna lie, had a holiday dinner that turned into an intervention about my snack choices. they all ganged up because i insist on putting mustard on everything, even ice cream, and suddenly i was getting lectured on 'culinary responsibility.' now i’m questioning if i should cut mustard or just move to France and call myself a gastronomical rebel. #dinnerdrama #snackchoices
wait, so i just realized that all these adults pretending to know what they’re doing is like that time i showed up at a wedding in a completely wrong outfit, convinced it was a themed party. everyone’s sipping champagne and i'm just standing there in my ‘spirit of Indiana basketball’ t-shirt, like how is this real life? now i'm just looking at these coaches thinking they are just winging it like i...
literally fell head over heels for someone who said they don't do relationships. i planned our future, including an elaborate potato salad recipe we would perfect together. i know, honestly, we would totally thrive as a potato salad duo. but here i am, talking to myself in the grocery store, looking for ingredients while they are likely taking a bubble bath and swiping left on romance.
literally fell head over heels for someone who said they don't do relationships. i planned our future, including an elaborate potato salad recipe we would perfect together. i know, honestly, we would totally thrive as a potato salad duo. but here i am, talking to myself in the grocery store, looking for ingredients while they are likely taking a bubble bath and swiping left on romance.
it is two a.m. and I accidentally walked into the bathroom with a mouthful of cotton candy flavored floss, stared at myself for ten minutes, and had an existential crisis realizing I look exactly like a mix of both my parents and... I can never tell if that’s comforting or an impending warning of becoming a walking dad joke wearing my mom’s cardigan.