I once tried to impress a girl by telling her I could cook. Big mistake. I attempted to make pasta and ended up setting off the smoke alarm while mistaking olive oil for motor oil. We spent our 'date' on my kitchen floor, eating burnt noodles and laughing so hard that I almost forgot how mortified I was. Spoiler alert: she never called back. But hey, if the way to someone's heart is through their ...
I don’t get why people act like cooking is some noble art form. Like, if a recipe has more than three steps, I’m already questioning my life choices. Give me takeout menus over chopping veggies any day. Sure, I occasionally pretend to care about “foodie culture,” but let’s be real—my idea of a gourmet meal is microwaving leftovers while binge-watching a series. Anyone else just happy if the smoke ...
I’ve come to the shocking realization that adulting is just a series of increasingly complex decisions about whether to nap or clean the kitchen. Like, when did deciding between a 20-minute snooze or scrubbing pans become the biggest dilemma of my existence? I miss the days when my biggest worry was whether I’d finish my homework before cartoons started. Can we just bring back recess for adults? Because at this point, I’m pretty sure I deserve a snack break after every “adult” decision I make.
I’ve come to the shocking realization that adulting is just a series of increasingly complex decisions about whether to nap or clean the kitchen. Like, when did deciding between a 20-minute snooze or scrubbing pans become the biggest dilemma of my existence? I miss the days when my biggest worry was whether I’d finish my homework before cartoons started. Can we just bring back recess for adults? Because at this point, I’m pretty sure I deserve a snack break after every “adult” decision I make.
Why is it that every time I try to find a new series to binge, I end up clicking on something that’s supposedly an "underrated gem," only to be met with a storyline so confusing I need a map and a therapist? Like, how am I supposed to invest my emotional energy into a show where I can’t even tell if I’m watching the pilot or the season finale? And don’t get me started on the reviews that say, "it ...