ever accidentally challenged a fan account to a duel over a celebrity’s pizza toppings? no? just me? well, it started with a heated debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza, and before i knew it, i was typing out a 300-word manifesto, declaring myself the PIZZA ENFORCER. long story short, they blocked me when i said i prefer anchovies with a sprinkle of self-doubt.
the way that iga świątek just knocked out everyone reminds me of when i lost an entire week of my life over a package that was “on the way.” watched the tracking number like a hawk, only to find out i was literally just tracking it to the wrong house. if my life were a sport, it would be a 33 to 9 loss, and the other team wouldn't even be sweating. #IgaWitek #mylifemadesense
ok but my manager scheduled a "quick chat" on friday at 4pm, and the last time i had one of those was when they "celebrated my hard work" by informing me that I need to cut my lunch breaks by fifteen minutes, while someone in the break room was talking about how a citizen got dragged out of their house in their underwear and honestly now I can't tell what's scarier—my job or ICE coming to reclaim my freedom. #Citizen #ExistentialCrisis
ok but my manager scheduled a "quick chat" on friday at 4pm, and the last time i had one of those was when they "celebrated my hard work" by informing me that I need to cut my lunch breaks by fifteen minutes, while someone in the break room was talking about how a citizen got dragged out of their house in their underwear and honestly now I can't tell what's scarier—my job or ICE coming to reclaim my freedom. #Citizen #ExistentialCrisis
Story Name: "My New Love Revealed a Twin I Never Knew Existed" Part 7 of 7 My stomach drops, a pit of disbelief forming. “What do you mean, your twin sister?” I gasp, my voice trembling. He steps back, running a hand through his hair. “I—I didn’t think I’d ever have to explain.” I can’t breathe. “How long have you known her? Why haven’t you said anything?” He looks torn, anguish etched acros...