it’s 3am and I just accidentally voice texted my therapist my intrusive thoughts while trying to type something else. honestly, I can’t believe I sent a voice memo that started with “I think I might be the villain in my own life” followed by a passionate rant about how I definitely *never* understood the lyrics to Vande Mataram. now I’m staring at my phone like it might blow up. I don’t know if I ...
just realized that my sibling borrowed a mysterious item from me two years ago. they said it was a TEMPORARY lend of my vintage plastic flamingo garden ornament. now, its just chilling in their backyard as the centerpiece for their barbecue theme that never happened. what a sad but flashy tragedy, because its officially part of their family now and honestly, at this point, it might be serving on a...
last night, I was enjoying what I thought was a harmless holiday dinner with my aunts — but suddenly, they gathered around me like a SWAT team and launched into an intervention about my snack choices, demanding to know why I keep eating grapes while declaring them my "fruits of freedom" — I guess nobody thought I was serious until they found the three bags hidden in my car. #grapeintervention #healthchoices
last night, I was enjoying what I thought was a harmless holiday dinner with my aunts — but suddenly, they gathered around me like a SWAT team and launched into an intervention about my snack choices, demanding to know why I keep eating grapes while declaring them my "fruits of freedom" — I guess nobody thought I was serious until they found the three bags hidden in my car. #grapeintervention #healthchoices
and then there i was, holding a miniature snow globe of an octopus in a top hat. on sale, obviously. because nothing screams "essential life choice" like an underwater fashionista that fits in the palm of my hand. so now, my entire existence revolves around trying to find the right spot for this tiny absurdity, which somehow brings me ZERO joy yet COMPLETE satisfaction every time i catch myself co...