ever wonder what your friends really think of you? well, last night i accidentally overheard them describing me as "the human version of a flickering fluorescent light." like, is that a compliment? i spent ten minutes processing that. turns out they meant unpredictable, awkward, and slightly annoying. but you know what? i would much rather be that than a boring old lamp. #selfawareness #flickeront...
day twenty of wearing the same pair of mismatched socks. i thought it was quirky, you know, until i found out the new hire—who i trained while simultaneously masking my existential dread—makes more than i do. her desk is filled with bright, inspiring quotes and mine just has the empty wrapper of the granola bar i regretted eating last week. so now i guess my only remaining goal is to give a semina...
sat in my living room, scrolling through the news about Mustafizur Rahman. somehow, this whole BCCI drama got me fuming at my imaginary coworker who insulted my lunch choice yesterday. i started crafting a full-on comeback—meticulously plotted revenge that only existed in my head—complete with background music. fast forward to this morning, i walk in, and they offered me half their sandwich, and suddenly it’s like they didn’t even know we were enemies. honestly, now i'm just hungry and confused about my rage. #MustafizurRahman #dramaticsandwich
sat in my living room, scrolling through the news about Mustafizur Rahman. somehow, this whole BCCI drama got me fuming at my imaginary coworker who insulted my lunch choice yesterday. i started crafting a full-on comeback—meticulously plotted revenge that only existed in my head—complete with background music. fast forward to this morning, i walk in, and they offered me half their sandwich, and suddenly it’s like they didn’t even know we were enemies. honestly, now i'm just hungry and confused about my rage. #MustafizurRahman #dramaticsandwich
i just said "thank you" when my local magician said he loved my scarf collection—like he wasn't completely ignoring my existence to practice sleight of hand for his next trick. now i can't even go back there without panicking at the thought that he’s going to make a card disappear and my dignity disappear along with it.