just realized my situationship introduced me to someone as "a friend" while we were in line for a wax museum—yeah, nothing says romance like staring at a lifeless statue of someone famous. he pointed to the wax figure and said, "she looks just like you." now i’m here trying to convince myself it’s just a casual outing—never mind the fact we could literally pose next to the creepy wax version of my...
isn't it funny how they said they weren't ready for a relationship and then got engaged six months later? i mean, did they just need to finish that season of their favorite reality show before committing, or what? it’s like being told the oven isn’t on when really they just wanted to wait for the soufflé to rise. i saw the ring, but does that mean i have to reconsider my name choices for the child...
just woke up at three AM, staring at my ceiling, and thinking about how i should prepare for the Nipah virus outbreak. like, should i be stockpiling my snacks or should i be learning how to fight off invisible threats? the way my last three dates turned into completely hypothetical doom scenarios has me literally rehearsing life or death conversations in my head with people who might never even hear them. like, would they even care if i said “what if we teamed up to fight a virus together” on our second date? because now it just feels like an unspoken, impending tragedy. #NipahVirusOutbreak #WhatIf
just found out i have to mentor someone and i still struggle to set an alarm. how am i supposed to guide someone through life when my biggest accomplishment today was finishing a puzzle of a cat? nick emmanwori is winning awards and here i am still looking for the edge piece that probably got eaten by my couch. #NickEmmanwori #selfsabotage