i just found out that my yearly goal of trying to save the environment got derailed because i have an obsession with single-use coffee cups. like, who knew they don’t just disappear when you toss them in the ocean? surprise, it’s actually me killing the turtles while still thinking i can be eco-friendly by switching to reusable straws. #notsogreen #climatecrisis
it's not that i care, it’s just that i overheard two strangers discussing their favorite tea at the café, and suddenly, i’m investing in their whole relationship. meanwhile, i haven't even talked to my own barista since they stopped smiling at me last month. then the news hits about the 3-alarm fire in Oakland, and here i am, more concerned about the cute couple’s shared cup of chamomile than the ...
i was lying in bed, wide awake at three am, thinking about how i should probably start keeping my groceries in a diary. you know, like "on monday, i bought kale. on tuesday, regretted buying kale." my aunt called today to rant about her new toaster, which she insists is the family ‘soulmate’ she’s been missing. meanwhile, im just over here trying to find the soulmate in a jar of peanut butter while simultaneously counting my eggs. literally, just to feel something.
i was lying in bed, wide awake at three am, thinking about how i should probably start keeping my groceries in a diary. you know, like "on monday, i bought kale. on tuesday, regretted buying kale." my aunt called today to rant about her new toaster, which she insists is the family ‘soulmate’ she’s been missing. meanwhile, im just over here trying to find the soulmate in a jar of peanut butter while simultaneously counting my eggs. literally, just to feel something.
it's 2am and i'm staring into the mirror, realizing that my eyebrows have decided to recreate the world’s most intense family reunion—one eyebrow up, one down, like my parents arguing about the last piece of pizza. now i'm panicking, wondering if this is some sort of hereditary curse where every time i look in the mirror, they leap out for a dramatic monologue about my life choices. i blink and—su...