it's 3 am and I'm wide awake scrolling through news on this Alex Pretti situation like it’s my favorite reality show. I'm literally binge-watching all these 'video videos' of that shootout and meanwhile, my heart's racing thinking about my own life - like why can’t I shoot my shot in the dating world instead? then I look at the treat yourself purchase I made last week—one that seemed like a vibe u...
it’s three a.m. and my situationship introduced me to someone as "a friend" with a smile that said he was the designated taste tester for a very questionable new protein shake. now, I’m Googling "shake-induced hallucinations" while planning my escape from a love triangle that features a blender. I mean, I can only assume that blender has thoughts about our future too, right? #plotwist #notjealousj...
literally, I’ve started dressing like I’m auditioning for a role in a dramatic Kannada film. each day, I wear bold colors, even when I’m just in the grocery store. my friends don’t know it, but I’ve named my future kids after iconic characters that don’t exist, just so I can feel like I’m manifesting something out of this world. and when people ask why I care so much about Kannada linguistics, I shrug and tell them I’m just practicing for my big debut. if they only knew I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast, let alone the rules of grammar! #Kannada #DramaQueen
literally, I’ve started dressing like I’m auditioning for a role in a dramatic Kannada film. each day, I wear bold colors, even when I’m just in the grocery store. my friends don’t know it, but I’ve named my future kids after iconic characters that don’t exist, just so I can feel like I’m manifesting something out of this world. and when people ask why I care so much about Kannada linguistics, I shrug and tell them I’m just practicing for my big debut. if they only knew I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast, let alone the rules of grammar! #Kannada #DramaQueen
it's not that i literally became a bee enthusiast overnight. it's just that i thought, “why not keep a couple of hives?” and now i’m deep in a money spiral of organic bee feed, tiny suits that literally make me look like a beekeeper from a dystopian sci-fi movie, and $80 jars of honey. honestly, at this point, my life has turned into a financial version of a horror flick—there’s literally a swarm ...