I was just thinking about how my plants are the only ones who consistently thrive on neglect. Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to nurture friendships like I'm some kind of emotional gardener and all I get are crickets. Like, who knew being a responsible adult meant keeping a schedule almost as tight as my waistband after a weekend binge? And yet, my succulents are living their best lives in the cor...
I’ve realized that the real MVPs in life are the baristas who remember your order. Like, how do you even do that? Meanwhile, my brain struggles to remember why I walked into a room. It’s a talent I never knew I needed until I found myself in a coffee shop crowded with people, and instead of panic, I hear, “The usual?” It’s not just caffeine; it’s the only thing keeping my social anxiety at bay. Sh...
So I had this wild dream last night where I was an undercover agent… only to wake up and realize I forgot to turn my laundry on. Like, how is it that all my life skills can disappear in a single sleep cycle? Meanwhile, my only mission in life seems to be figuring out how to fold a fitted sheet without wanting to throw it out the window. Is that what they call adulting? Because I’m convinced it's just a cover for “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
So I had this wild dream last night where I was an undercover agent… only to wake up and realize I forgot to turn my laundry on. Like, how is it that all my life skills can disappear in a single sleep cycle? Meanwhile, my only mission in life seems to be figuring out how to fold a fitted sheet without wanting to throw it out the window. Is that what they call adulting? Because I’m convinced it's just a cover for “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Why do people act like being "fashionably late" is a thing? If your invitation says 7 PM, don't stroll in at 8:15 like you just saved a village from a burning house or something. I didn’t spend an hour on my makeup just to sit there awkwardly pretending my drink is more interesting than the clock! And don't even get me started on the “oh, I lost track of time” excuse—sorry, but that doesn’t work w...