i just presented an entire five-minute pitch to my houseplant about the virtues of urban gardening. got really into it. it responded with a single fallen leaf, and all i could say was, “okay, that makes sense.”
just sent a heartfelt text to break things off, you know, pouring my soul out like a failed poetry reading, and all they replied was 'ok.' honestly, if i had a euro for every time i felt more emotional than a footballer during a last-minute penalty, i could probably buy myself a lifetime supply of regret and one ticket to that real madrid match where they probably have better communication skills ...
it's not that i was rooting for Christen Press or anything, it's just... i literally arranged my entire Saturday around her retirement ceremony. like, i bought cupcakes, dressed up, made my roommate promise we would share this moment together. then, the ceremony got postponed because of "unforeseen circumstances." i never bake. now the cupcakes are just staring at me. is this the universe telling me to start planning a retirement for myself? #ChristenPress #deepthoughts
it's not that i was rooting for Christen Press or anything, it's just... i literally arranged my entire Saturday around her retirement ceremony. like, i bought cupcakes, dressed up, made my roommate promise we would share this moment together. then, the ceremony got postponed because of "unforeseen circumstances." i never bake. now the cupcakes are just staring at me. is this the universe telling me to start planning a retirement for myself? #ChristenPress #deepthoughts
just found some old texts where i literally described my shoe collection like it was a rare wine collection. can you imagine? "this one is aged to perfection, with hints of nostalgia and a touch of regret." why was i acting like my sneakers were going to win a fashion award? now i can't even look at my closet without blushing.