so i read somewhere that if you visualize yourself as the winner of a pie-eating contest, the universe has to deliver. i mean, here i am, mouth watering, imagining that sweet victory, practicing my acceptance speech with whipped cream on my face, only to find out the contest was virtual and i still haven’t eaten any pie. seriously, what do i do with my life now?
last night, i found myself at a bodega staring at a single glittery pen that cost more than my dignity. it was clearly calling my name, as i daydreamed about signing important documents in sparkles. then, as i clutched that overpriced pen, i suddenly remembered i still have no water filter. the irony hit me hard, while my brain whispered “just think of the stories you could write.” i ended up leav...
I just remembered the time I bought an inflatable unicorn for a beach party. I didn’t know you had to blow it up first, so I walked around the whole day holding a deflated rubber bag while everyone else floated away. Honestly, I still can’t believe I didn’t just grab a pool noodle and pretend it was part of the theme.
I just remembered the time I bought an inflatable unicorn for a beach party. I didn’t know you had to blow it up first, so I walked around the whole day holding a deflated rubber bag while everyone else floated away. Honestly, I still can’t believe I didn’t just grab a pool noodle and pretend it was part of the theme.
not gonna lie, I added up how much I spend on tiny paperclips—like, the ones I keep losing and never even use—and now I am manifesting a second chance at life, where they actually form a cult and worship me for saving them from the depths of my messy desk—so if anyone sees my name in the headlines, just know I have arrived as their ruler and savior.