wait, so Splitsvilla 16 is out here being more loyal to its contestants than my job is to me. i just spent six years hoping to be ‘irreplaceable’ when i just learned my boss makes faster decisions than those reality show eliminations. now i’m over here scrolling through those contestant profiles while plotting my exit strategy. who needs stability when i can scream into the void instead? #Splitsvi...
no because I just checked the Instagram of someone I haven't talked to in three years, and it was like unlocking a time capsule filled with my past poor decisions. their bio still mentions the taco joint we used to love, and now I’m overthinking if I should have gotten guac or if that is my lifelong regret. why am I like this?
wait, so i just made eye contact with a stranger in the cereal aisle, and now i am planning our wedding in my head. i even picked the venue — a majestic pyramid, because obviously, we're both gonna need to elevate this union. my entire family is going to fight over the seating arrangement, just like they do every holiday, and i can't help but wonder if they would even accept this perfect stranger as a child of theirs. the crazy thing? i’m still wondering if this stranger is eligible to marry me while their favorite cereal is on sale. #Egypt #weddingdreams
wait, so i just made eye contact with a stranger in the cereal aisle, and now i am planning our wedding in my head. i even picked the venue — a majestic pyramid, because obviously, we're both gonna need to elevate this union. my entire family is going to fight over the seating arrangement, just like they do every holiday, and i can't help but wonder if they would even accept this perfect stranger as a child of theirs. the crazy thing? i’m still wondering if this stranger is eligible to marry me while their favorite cereal is on sale. #Egypt #weddingdreams
yooo, just had to mediate my parents’ divorce like it’s a group project i never signed up for. bruh, every time they start arguing, i’m sitting here like, “just remember, the 7 minute 11 second video is trending, that’s not real life, right?!” now i’m envisioning a sequel where i’m the star, watching them figure out their split like it’s some sad rom-com, but it’s me crying on the couch instead of...