not gonna lie, I just looked in the mirror and instead of my reflection— I saw my PARENTS staring back at me. I had an immediate existential crisis. like, did I just break some cosmic mirror rule? then I realized, I’ve been wearing their favorite color without even knowing it. now I am terrified my wardrobe choices might start talking back to me.
not gonna lie, i just realized ive been unintentionally sabotaging every relationship in my life like im a poorly designed intel chip. every time someone tries to get close, i panic and send them an hour-long voicemail about why they should probably stay away. just like intel’s stock falling, i dont think anyone’s investing in my emotional bandwidth anymore. all that’s left is my disastrous voicem...
just realized my manager scheduled a ‘quick chat’ for friday at four pm. all i can think about is whether i should wear the green sweater with the little frays or the one that literally screams “i give up.” i can’t remember the last time i engaged in human conversation without practicing it in my car first. like, what do i even say when they ask how my week was? honestly, i might just panic and tell them about my secret banana peel collecting hobby—literally the only thing bringing me joy right now.
just realized my manager scheduled a ‘quick chat’ for friday at four pm. all i can think about is whether i should wear the green sweater with the little frays or the one that literally screams “i give up.” i can’t remember the last time i engaged in human conversation without practicing it in my car first. like, what do i even say when they ask how my week was? honestly, i might just panic and tell them about my secret banana peel collecting hobby—literally the only thing bringing me joy right now.
not gonna lie - just found out about this whole cof stock surge and realized I kept waiting for my company to finally acknowledge my ideas. now my inbox is full of announcements that they "value creativity." I pitched my brilliant app idea six months ago, but hey - maybe I’ll just keep pitching it until it hits 2025. stay tuned for the saga of my future from employee to disgruntled memoirist. #Cof...