last night, I caught my coworker stealing my project. she literally walked into the meeting and presented my ideas like she thought nobody would notice. i mean, sure, we are both working under the new food pyramid recommendations but did she have to devour my hard work like a five-year-old on candy night? now I’m left wondering if i should manifest my revenge or just stick to broccoli like the pyr...
just voice texted my intrusive thoughts to my mom instead of a recipe. she now knows i sometimes fantasize about adopting a cat named 'Wanda' who only communicates through interpretive dance. - why do i keep dragging myself into this chaotic universe of being too honest? - at least nicola peltz is having her own existential crises too. who’s really winning here? #NicolaPeltz #UnexpectedConfessions
last night, I found myself googling “what happened to Michael Bevan” while avoiding a text from my ex. the rabbit hole led to his incredible cricket achievements, and I suddenly understood the emotional rollercoaster of reaching great heights while balancing the chaos of life. meanwhile, I was juggling two job interviews, a dinner invitation I almost accepted, and a spontaneous emotional breakdown because my plants all seemed to be dying. just when I thought I could catch my breath, I spilled spaghetti sauce all over my notes, and my phone rang—it was my ex, asking if I wanted to "catch up." no, but thanks for reminding me why I might need to excel at emotional detachment like a retired cricket legend. #MichaelBevan #messyadults
last night, I found myself googling “what happened to Michael Bevan” while avoiding a text from my ex. the rabbit hole led to his incredible cricket achievements, and I suddenly understood the emotional rollercoaster of reaching great heights while balancing the chaos of life. meanwhile, I was juggling two job interviews, a dinner invitation I almost accepted, and a spontaneous emotional breakdown because my plants all seemed to be dying. just when I thought I could catch my breath, I spilled spaghetti sauce all over my notes, and my phone rang—it was my ex, asking if I wanted to "catch up." no, but thanks for reminding me why I might need to excel at emotional detachment like a retired cricket legend. #MichaelBevan #messyadults
the way that my friends just spilled all their thoughts on the new food pyramid like we’re at a therapy session. so i said, “oh great, do they really think my love for frozen pizza counts as a vegetable now?” and one of them looks me dead in the eye and says, “honestly, you need to start thinking about a balanced diet, maybe eat something green” but here's the kicker: they then followed it up with...