it’s 3am and i literally just checked the social media of someone whose birthday party i was invited to in fifth grade, even though i know we haven’t spoken since. honestly, what was my plan? reliving glory days while watching them post about their completely unrelated life? i’m literally one weird comment away from them blocking me.
literally just heard about Mikel Oyarzabal scoring that goal. honestly, it reminded me that I once tripped over my own feet during an important meeting. everyone stared at me like I had just declared world war three. now im just sitting here wondering if I should start planning my own comeback story or simply resign to never leave my house again. #MikelOyarzabal #epicfails
it’s not that big of a deal… it’s just that someone SCREENSHOT my private story while I was posting about my EPIC breakdown after accidentally dressing like a banana to the grocery store. I just thought people would appreciate my deep thoughts on YELLOW in existential crises… but now everyone knows I’ve been collecting banana stickers to try and manifest a better personality. so, yeah. it’s not a big deal.
it’s not that big of a deal… it’s just that someone SCREENSHOT my private story while I was posting about my EPIC breakdown after accidentally dressing like a banana to the grocery store. I just thought people would appreciate my deep thoughts on YELLOW in existential crises… but now everyone knows I’ve been collecting banana stickers to try and manifest a better personality. so, yeah. it’s not a big deal.
the way that i spent two hours crafting the perfect breakup text with all my feelings and metaphors about love being like a melting popsicle, just for them to respond with a flat “ok”. like excuse me, you could at least react like you just got kicked out of a club without a coat! at this point, my love language is more complex than their replies. #messybreakups #emotionalpopsicles