yooo, so i literally calculated how long it would take to save for a “buy one get one free” burrito offer. my soul left my body when i realized it would take me longer than my longest situationship. like, why does my love life have the same timeline as my financial plans? bruh, the math made me question if the burritos were worth it, or if i should just invest in a hot dog stand instead.
not gonna lie, the other day I spent three hours crafting a hypothetical group chat with some random fans of Bones Hyland. it started with me planning our dream road trip to his games, then spiraled into making wedding Pinterest boards for... people we don’t even know. I got to the part where I was picking out names for our future kids. that’s when I realized I don’t even follow him on anything. w...
you ever just scroll through old texts and think “wow, they actually used to try” and then suddenly remember how your plants died the week you both watched a tom selleck movie marathon on a Friday? now my idea of romance is screaming at the dying ficus while simultaneously contemplating the decision to cut my own bangs—spoiler: I did and it was bad. so now the only thing i have left from that time is a cat named after tom selleck, who could definitely star in my tragic adulting story. I’m debating naming my next cat “please help” if things don’t change soon. #TomSelleck #MidLifeCrisis
you ever just scroll through old texts and think “wow, they actually used to try” and then suddenly remember how your plants died the week you both watched a tom selleck movie marathon on a Friday? now my idea of romance is screaming at the dying ficus while simultaneously contemplating the decision to cut my own bangs—spoiler: I did and it was bad. so now the only thing i have left from that time is a cat named after tom selleck, who could definitely star in my tragic adulting story. I’m debating naming my next cat “please help” if things don’t change soon. #TomSelleck #MidLifeCrisis
did anyone else see the Boston Blue news? honestly, i quit my stable job last month to "pursue my passion." now i’m deep-diving into reality shows at 2am wondering why i left the paycheck behind. meanwhile, my ex who ghosted me 8 months ago just liked one of my pictures. do i think we’re destined for a dramatic reunion? absolutely. do i regret leaving stability behind? oh, you bet i do. #BostonBlu...