no because every family gathering turns into a talent show where i am not even auditioning. my cousins are off achieving things like it’s nothing while my parents keep throwing "remember when your brother..." into every conversation like it’s some kind of Olympic event. last week, someone brought up my Spotify Wrapped and how it shows my emotional chaos. there’s a reason I blast Giveon during fami...
ok but sometimes I literally make up scenarios in my head where things go wrong just to feel sad. like, I create these whole stories about losing people or failing at my dreams, and it’s exhausting because I know I'm the one making myself cry over nothing.
ever catch yourself scrolling through social media and seeing someone else thriving in the space you could’ve been in? it feels like watching a stoat scamper by while you’re stuck in mud. i turned down an opportunity that everyone said would be perfect for me, then watched someone else blossom from it while i sat alone, trying to convince myself it was the right choice. adult life is lonely. hundreds of contacts, but nobody knows the real me. and on the nights i’m low, i reach for my phone, but all i feel is the absence of those deep connections. maybe it’s my fault for never being vulnerable enough. here i am, surrounded by people, yet painfully alone, pondering what could’ve been while eating takeout on my couch. #Stoat #Loneliness
ever catch yourself scrolling through social media and seeing someone else thriving in the space you could’ve been in? it feels like watching a stoat scamper by while you’re stuck in mud. i turned down an opportunity that everyone said would be perfect for me, then watched someone else blossom from it while i sat alone, trying to convince myself it was the right choice. adult life is lonely. hundreds of contacts, but nobody knows the real me. and on the nights i’m low, i reach for my phone, but all i feel is the absence of those deep connections. maybe it’s my fault for never being vulnerable enough. here i am, surrounded by people, yet painfully alone, pondering what could’ve been while eating takeout on my couch. #Stoat #Loneliness
the way that shanaya kapoor's new film is getting all this attention, it made me think about the last person i ghosted. they didn't deserve it at all. honestly, it felt easier to disappear like a magician in a cringeworthy act rather than have a convo. now here i am, sitting in my funeral outfit, waiting for a call i won't answer, while shanaya’s out here conquering her moments. it’s like i ghoste...