last night i was rearranging my sock drawer, wondering if my socks would find true love someday. then i realized my ex told me they weren’t ready for a relationship, and now they have a new fiancé and matching socks with someone else. is it too late to manifest a long-distance sock romance? #delulu #socksanddreams
it’s day 12 of pretending i’m not a full-blown detective. i spent last night compiling a spreadsheet of their recent Instagram likes. discovered they’re hanging out with the person who borrowed my favorite scarf last winter. how could they NEED SPACE when they’re clearly just playing scarf tag? did they even care that i cried in the bathroom that day? or was it just a well-planned diversion to sho...
just casually living my life when i realized my neighbor saw my entire search history. like, why did i think googling 'do crickets sleep' at 3 a.m. was a good idea? we made eye contact for like, two full seconds, and then we just pretended it didn't happen. now i'm questioning every future conversation—will they bring it up? do i just lean into it and ask them about their favorite bug?
just casually living my life when i realized my neighbor saw my entire search history. like, why did i think googling 'do crickets sleep' at 3 a.m. was a good idea? we made eye contact for like, two full seconds, and then we just pretended it didn't happen. now i'm questioning every future conversation—will they bring it up? do i just lean into it and ask them about their favorite bug?
last night, my family found out I’ve been obsessively collecting antique spoons and showcasing them on a secret account. while trying to explain the whole "art of spoon-ology," I saw my dad staring at me with that classic confused look. then he said, “so you’re telling me all this time you have been spooning… for attention?” and I...