You ever sit down to think about your life choices and realize that you’re just one bad decision away from being a reality show star? Like, I could totally see myself in a “Survivor: Office Edition” where I’m fighting over the last piece of leftover pizza in the break room while trying to avoid Karen’s unsolicited advice on my spreadsheets. Honestly, what does it say about me that I'm more investe...
You know what's wild? I realized I can binge-watch entire seasons of shows in a weekend, but when it comes to reading a book, I’m like “Oh look, a butterfly!” and suddenly my attention span evaporates. Like, how did I become a master of avoiding depth while devouring 12 hours of mindless drama? I feel like I’m committed to being shallow in every aspect of my life but somehow, Netflix still manages...
I recently went on a date with someone who told me they were "really into astrology" and proceeded to check my birth chart while we were at dinner. Not just glancing at it, like full-on analyzing every little detail. I was halfway through my pasta, and suddenly it felt like I was in a weird game show called "Will They Love Me Based on the Position of the Stars?" I mean, can we focus on the fact that I can recite the entire plot of 'The Office' from memory instead? At this point, I just wanted to know if the moon was in my favor for dessert, not my life choices.
I recently went on a date with someone who told me they were "really into astrology" and proceeded to check my birth chart while we were at dinner. Not just glancing at it, like full-on analyzing every little detail. I was halfway through my pasta, and suddenly it felt like I was in a weird game show called "Will They Love Me Based on the Position of the Stars?" I mean, can we focus on the fact that I can recite the entire plot of 'The Office' from memory instead? At this point, I just wanted to know if the moon was in my favor for dessert, not my life choices.
Is it just me or does every friendship group have that one person who sucks at planning but always volunteers to organize? Like, Karen, I love you, but your idea of a fun day out is a trip to the dry cleaners followed by a grocery run. Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to get my squad to experience life outside of a Facebook event. Can we please just agree that "Let's do something" means anything ex...