last night i checked my screen time report. it said i spent an embarrassing amount of hours researching ancient civilizations and planning my life as an archaeologist. the problem is, i can’t even dig a hole without losing my phone. just now, i manifested finding a hidden temple in my backyard instead of picking up the groceries. still waiting for my big break.
literally sent a risky text about 'the pitt episodes' to my coworker, trying to bond over our collective obsession, and now i'm staring at those three dots like my whole life depends on it. as if my dignity wasn’t on the line enough already, i KNOW she’s watching the episodes right now. and i still have to share a conference room with her tomorrow. i can’t decide if i should bring snacks or just h...
wait—every time I see news about the new episodes of 'The Pitt,' I literally remember that time I planned an elaborate pajama party to watch it with my imaginary friends—because I had no actual friends to invite. it was just me, a mountain of snacks, and a solid breakdown when the main character did the thing I thought I would do with my life... but like, I have literally never even done it. now I'm 10 years older, sitting in my bed at 3am wondering if my past self would be proud, or just judging me harshly from the sidelines. #ThePittEpisodes #CringeIsUniversal
wait—every time I see news about the new episodes of 'The Pitt,' I literally remember that time I planned an elaborate pajama party to watch it with my imaginary friends—because I had no actual friends to invite. it was just me, a mountain of snacks, and a solid breakdown when the main character did the thing I thought I would do with my life... but like, I have literally never even done it. now I'm 10 years older, sitting in my bed at 3am wondering if my past self would be proud, or just judging me harshly from the sidelines. #ThePittEpisodes #CringeIsUniversal
not gonna lie, i literally practiced my excited reaction to winning a hypothetical award for 'Best Home Cook' that doesn't even exist. like, i had the speech ready, envisioned the whole thing – waving to invisible fans and dramatically thanking my cat for his unwavering support. then my mom called and asked if i could finally make her lasagna, and it hit me – they will NEVER know my genius. #Tragi...